theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
