I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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