I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
