Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
