how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm at about main and main street
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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