I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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