Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bring me that man meat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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