like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
