We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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