Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
