I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
