he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
