Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
