I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm at about main and main street
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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