why didn't you poke me back
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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