Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
