Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
