Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
