It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
