i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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