Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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