either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
