I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
