We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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