I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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