I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
