He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
