hell yes lets make some ravioli
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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