so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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