I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
