I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
