you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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