I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
