Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
