before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
