after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
