Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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