seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
