But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
