and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize