i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
