OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
