I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize