I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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