I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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