i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are all done wearing pants today
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize