Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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