After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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