I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
