OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
