He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As shirtless as possible
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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