Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
