We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
