You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
