Me. At least after what I've been through.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
