Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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